rumbelle true love
by buttbag mcbutts
Summary: Rumple and Belle know their relationship is one that takes time effort and care, but when Belle finds out she's pregnant with a child can Rumple take the news? Contains sexual content, violence, tons of death, bdsm and love.
1. Chapter 1

It was a fine afternoon in the middle of who gives a shitland because really when you hear storybrook you just go WHO GIVES A FUCK EMMAS GONNA DO SOME PRINCESS OF POWER SHIT BECAUSE SHES LIKE SHE RA OR WHATEVER NYEH SKELETOR IS MY HUSBANDO! Anyways Belle everyones favorite failure in acting class princess was preparing for a lovely picnic with her dried foreskin husbando Rumple Bumple.

"RUMPLE THAT WON'T FIT INSIDE!" Belle screamed as Rumple pushed.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP DEARIE AND GET TO THOSE SANDWHICHES!" Rumple yelled as he threw a mighty bitch slap to Belle.

Belle was wearing only the sexiest of clothing a frilly gold corset, a pair of gold stilletos and gold panties that said 'Rumple is my daddy' on the butt. It was truely the perfect attire to wear to a lovely afternoon picnic in the parking lot. People would often tell Belle she looked just like Belle but Belle would simply giggle like a retard and shake her head, she was not Belle for she was Belle! And jingle belles do not wear clothing or atleast sexy clothing.

Rumple grabbed onto Belles tits and pinched her nipples. Ever since Belle had sucked on Rumples wrinkly penis and made the shower of love shoot through her nose (Belle was giggling so much that the magic juice came out her nose like milk) she had gained magical powers to zoom zoom at the speed of light.

"Hold on tight!" Belle said.

Then faster then you could spoil the entire plot of Evangelion (Spoilers! Everyone says congrautlations!) Belle and Rumple went to the parking lot BUT little did the lovebirds know it was being run by rudeboys. The rudeboys were all the stupid as hell dwarfs that hardly appear in the show anymore because racism. Rumple glared at the rudeboys threatening to harm his lovely picnic so he turned into his ultimate form it was some bald guy who didn't have a nose who was somehow even less attractive then Rumple which is pretty fucking amazing since Rumple is literally a green goblin with glitter thrown on him and Belle shot her tit milk at the rudeboys. Belle's tit milk could change into a soild on command which was another power she had gained after she became a mutant. A very sexy mutant...mmmmmm. After a musical number Belle and Rumple were the victors.

"OH RUMPLE" Belle sang "THESE ORGANS WILL MAKE GREAT MEAT FOR OUR SANDWHICHES."

Rumple was already smoking a cigar and eating dopeys heart to listen to Belle's silly girl talk. all girls talked about were whining and money in Rumples eyes well, except Belle who also talked about books, coloring books to be exact since Belle couldn't fucking read.

"Dearie, I'm trying to be a james bond villian so if you don't mind suck my dick." Rumple said as he turned a page of his book about evil and stuff.

Belle jumped onto the floor and deepthoated Rumples penis which wasn't hard because Rumple had the dick of a five year old and Belle did not need normal food she lived off semen and had prepared a feast for the dark one. After hours of Belle drinking magic semen and Rumple planning on how he would defeat those rascals of good Emma and Hook they decided it was time to go home. Belle and Rumple jumped into bed and Rumple thought about how excited he was to eat Belle's unborn fetus since the child was not his but some asshole's who didn't matter. Rumple licked his lips in delight and smoked weed while Belle dreamed of sugar plums and unprotected sex.

LITTLE DID THE COUPLE KNOW NEAR A EVIL MASTERMIND WAS PLANNING TO DESTROY EVERYTHING THEY LOVED!

"MWAHAHAHA! SOON I WILL TAKE OVER STORYBROOK!" Some buttbag was planning on some evil stuff or whatever while his boyfriend made brownies, EVIL BROWNIES!

Belle French (seriously thats her fucking name?) and Rumple Evil Bumple had no idea what was ahead of them.


	2. Chapter 2

Belle woke up before Rumple since Rumple was having a wet dream about murdering small children as per usual. Belle decided that since they weren't doing shit today she might as well make Rumple breakfast in bed even though it was the afternoon.

Into the kitchen she ran! but not before putting on a apron Belle was a master in the art of open apron breakfasts and it allowed her to be able to take a poop easier! She sang a song while throwing shit in the microwave. This included all of Rumple's favorites small children, Belle's used panties and a dash of evil'os WHICH ONLY THE MOST FUCKING EVIL PEOPLE COULD CONSUME! So yeah, some pretty evil shit right there not even the chubby blonde kid from the award winning cool cat saves the kids would lay a finger on this can of BING BING BOOM BOOM AAAAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHHH stuff.

Belle set the microwave to 15 minutes Rumple wouldn't wake up for atleast an hour due to how lovely a dream he was having. As she waited Belle siped from her favorite tea cup.

"SOME OF THE BEST CUPS ARE CHIPPED" Belle said to no one in particular.

She was drinking some frozen semen from the freezer she used this to make sure that none of it would be wasted and it would all go to the babu to help it get big and strong. Belle rubbed her stomach she knew it was some punk ass bitch's baby and not her never ending source of conflict lover Rumple but she hoped that if they had enough unprotected sex the baby would morph into a mini dark one. This was also why she was drinking semen because yes, she's that much of useless stupid character.

Rumple was having a lovely dream about murdering small children WHEN SUDDENLY a man with a mask and a stupid looking sword pointed at him.

"RUMPLE I WILL DEFEAT YOU BECAUSE MY GRANDPA WAS THE EVILIEST EVIL AND I WANT TO BE LIKE MY GRANDPA BECAUSE HE IS MY GRANDPA AND HE IS COOL AND I LIKE HIM A LOT EVEN THOUGH I'VE NEVER MET HIM SO PLEASE FIGHT ME" The masked emo shouted.

Rumple was to busy chowing down on the souls of the innocent to have time for such a loud man he would deal with him in real life so he chucked a bone at him and then he woke up.

"OH RUMPLE MY DARLING YOU'RE AWAKE!" Belle sang with glee.

Rumple was sad because he wanted Belle to be the sexy as fuck Lacey again and everytime Belle spoke he got a migrane but he would have to brainwash her later as well as deal with the emo invading his glue sniffing dreams so he ate breakfast because he must eat breakfast before he goes to bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Rumple was greated by the emo kid in a dream once again, but this time he seemed really gay he was with some skeleton and they seemed to be enjoying the night life together the skeleton brought pot brownies and a heeping hot plate of pasta this pasta looked like it fucking sucked BUT IT FILLED RUMPLE WITH RESOLUTION!

"MYAH" the skeleton yelled "WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY MY HEEPING HOT PLATE OF PASTA I GOT IT STRAIGHT FROM THE CHEF EXCELLENCE!"

The masked man stared at the skeleton for a second and then screamed "YOU ARE TEARING ME APART TIMES NEW ROMAN!"

The skeleton looked sad but he began to get dry humped by the masked man anyway. Rumple was straight as fuck and only wanted the pussy so he began to walk away.

"YOOOOUUUUUU!" The masked man said as he began to take off his mask.

It was...

KYLO WISEAU! He was a strange mix of smoking hot and ugly as hell, though he had quite lovely long black locks.

Rumple was getting sick of this shit and wanted to fuck Belle's tight pussy so he threw a spoon at times new roman. He blacked out and Rumple went on the elevator to good dream land were he would have his most lovely experiences.

Good dream land had laceys huge tits on every building and hookers that looked like lacey on every corner. In the middle of the town there was a huge bdsm party going on, Laceys were being tortured by eachother and every raven in the town shat blood so the town was fucking covered in the stuff. Every store was required to sell only items that Rumple enjoyed this included 50 shade's of grey and Mai chan's daily life being sold at all bookstores, blenders from will it blend being sold at all supermarkets as well as babies being blended in them at all times this reflected what Rumple would enjoy doing to Belle's unborn fetus

It was fucking disgusting simple as that.

"It get's better everytime I see it."

14 or so Laceys then jumped onto Rumple's tiny penis and began to tear off random civilians faces and wear them as masks even though it wasn't halloween Rumple loved watching his sluts do the preforming arts.

"DAD I'M NOT DEAD AND FOR SOME REASON HAVE FANGIRLS!" Bagelfire-I mean Neal said.

"GIVE ME A HUG YOU LITTLE FUCK" Rumple pulled out a chainsaw and cut all the Laceys in half he needed some father son bonding time after all.

Neal and Rumple had so much fun murdering together LIKE A GOOD FATHER AND SON DUO ALWAYS DO! Rumple showered Neal in glitter so he would sparkle just like him and they even played a good old game of go fish!

Then Rumple woke up and cried.


	4. Chapter 4

After 16 hours of Rumple in tears he decided to watch Tomoko and Yuu do America which was one of his favorite animus even though Tomoko was cringey as hell and she spent most of the movie sitting next to garbage cans Rumple still enjoyed it because it was a very good movie it was.

Belle was practicing her skills of sticking random shit from Rumple's ghetto shop up her vagina when she noticed Rumples book of magical shit.

Now as we have mentioned during chapter 1 Belle can't fucking read so instead of summoning cthulhu the god of tentacle p0rnos like anyother person would do so the god could fuck the hell out of Rumples crazy old man ass she took out her favorite set of crayons and colored in the pictures.

'SILLY BOOK' she thought 'PICTURES ARE MENT TO HAVE COLOR!'

She scribbled in the pictures until she came across a picture of the wedding dress Rumple had given her. She stared at it intensely she couldn't believe her darling hubby would do something like this!

"RUMPLE BUMPLE I AM VERY UPSET" Belle cried out

Rumple was to busy watching god tier animus to listen to Belles period talk.

"RUUUUMMMMPPPPPPLLLLLEEEEEEE" Belle yelled once more

Decideing that Belle needed a bitch slap for interrupting his waifu hour he marched up to her carrying the wizard wand from harry p because Voldemort and Rumple were...The same person! Rumple not only had the ability to jump across worlds he could also cross universes! But he always had to be ugly as fuck in each form he took on! OH WHAT A HORRIBLE LIFE HE LIVED HOW COULD RUMPLE GO ON RUMPL-lol jk the wand was just a stick for the beating time.

"RUMPLE YOU SAID MY CUPIE DOLL DRESS WAS MADE FROM THE FINEST GARBAGE CANS HOW COULD YOU LIE TO ME LIKE THAT?"

Thats when Rumple realized how much of a pooh poopie he had been to his wife he did say that it was a gucci garbage can brand cupie doll outfit but in reality he had summoned it from the underworld also he was freaking the fuck out because Belle read his book and that book had all his secrets and porn (and that was some fucking gross porn).

"B-belle! My beautiful wife! I'm sorry for lying to you but garbage can brands are so rare these days all you see is um...absolute shit! And my wife only desearves the best!"

Belle blushed "OH MY DARLING I LOVE YOU MORE THEN STRIPED SHIRTS, TWIRLY MOUSTACES, BERETS AND BAGUETTES!"

"y-yeah you're french and stuff, b-but Belle um did you didn't read that book right?"

"OUI OUI BAGUETTE EIFFEL TOWER" Belle was yammering in german and Rumple didn't understand italian so he couldn't make out if she was saying 'yes' or 'no'

"I'll just use my magic translator I got from merlins trunk of stuff he probably faps to!"

Rumple twirled like a beautiful ballerina and smacked belle with the translator she was actually yelling about...

Her water breaking.


	5. Chapter 5

SRRY 4 NOT UPDATING I HAS BEEN FAPPING 3 SALEUR MURS AND ROWBUTTZ XDDDD

* * *

As Rumple bumple smoked some dank kush and watched child abuse he yelled in thought to himself.

"HOW THE FUCKILTY HELL DO I DEFEAT THOSE DAMN GOOD DO-ERS HOOK AND EMMA?!"

Rumple went to his sex dungeon to relieve some of the stress from his stressful life he was a old as fuck man and he needed to squeeze some milk into his cumslut Belle. Belle was sitting in her birthday suit with a huge pregnant belly you would seriously think she would be having at least 27 kids that thing was so fucking huge like if I had 27 kids I wouldn't be fucking sane until all those little shits were in college like goddamn pull out bro. ANYWAYS Belle was licking up some leftover cum from yesterday and eating the corpse of a penguin that had obviously been plotting to 'CLOBBAH THAT THERE KERBEH' because all penguin's have an evil side and like dumb animus like lucky star.

"RUMPLE PLEASE THE PENGUIN CORPSE IS ROTTING AND I NEED CUM TO GO THROUGH MY NOSE LIKE 2% MILK!" Belle was licking up the cum from the dirty basement floor like an well behaved kitten or a whore because this analogy is fucking retarded.

Rumple took out his 1 inch penis and started jacking off using two fingers he wasn't able to use more than two because otherwise his penis would get torn apart and become magic dust.

"DEARIE BE A DEARIE AND JACK ME OFF DEARIE!" Belle hopped over to Rumple's itty bitty dick and took out her hand.

"OH RUMPLE YOU'RE SO BIG" even though he wasn't.

Belle being a dumb shit accidentally ripped off Rumple's magic stick, they both stared in horror as the penis turned into magic dust. Belle always trying to fix the situation pulled out a straw and started snorting the magic dust up her nose.

Then Belle and the baby started tripping balls as Rumple tongue fucked her as he no longer had a ochinchin.


End file.
